a new beginning. or not.

exam time..

It has finally come to the time of the sem - exams. That's almost the end of the first leg of my final days in smu. BOY, AM I GLAD.

Time has gone by so quickly in a blink of an eye. Showed a friend my year 1 photo and she said it couldn't be me! But am I glad I dun look the way I did in year 1 anymore! :X That said, year 1 might have been the best year in my entire tertiary life.

I think sometimes it's so easy to fall back into your comfort zone and forget about your dreams and ambitions. Somehow i think that's what happened to me in the last 4 years. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I regret it. I had lots of fun. Maybe even too much. It's just that when everything fades away and it boils down to what I have achieved, it's almost a piece of white paper for me.

Been suffering from insomnia the past few days. I can't figure out why. SO exhausted from work and studying each night but just can't seem to fall asleep even at 4am. Maybe it's just past ideal bedtime?

There's so much inertia to study. I wish I could just heck it. But being the perfectionst and control freak I am, how could I right? But I'm getting so distracted. Been thinking of ways how to spend my money since Sunday when i finished projects for the normal term. I think I have been working too hard. It's been work till 4am everyday for almost a month. I really wonder how much longer I will be able to last! Not to mention that I'm currently in hell week! I'll be so glad if I'll even be able to pass my AFA mid term on sat. Cos I still have absolutely no idea what is going on and it's apparently known to be the hardest course in whole of SMU. SO.. Worse thing is I'm so not cut out for accounting. I can't seem to grasp the concepts and see the logic behind the whole thing. Which is honestly a rare thing for me. I think it all boils down to my "hatred" for the subject!

AHHH.. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT NOW IS SHOPPING, THE BEACH AND HAVING FUN!

If you've managed to make it up to this part of my ranting kudos to you. I just somehow feel so dissatisfied. One thing I sure can be glad of is the lack of drama at this point in time. Life is simple: Eat, do work/study, catch up on shows, chat/hang out with friends, daydream (A LOT), sleep. I should be contented, shouldn't I? Since I always complain about how dramatic my life has been for the past 10 years!

I'm rarring to go out. I miss our chill out sessions. I miss talking about everything but nothing without worrying about work and exams.

I can't figure it out really. I miss being happy and free.

posted by just me @ 3:47 PM