a new beginning. or not.

the only constant is change..

The only constant is change.

We've heard that many times over and over again. I wish it wasn't true but it is. So true. Promises made can be broken in a split second. Feelings change in a split second. Decisions are made in a split second. Trust can be lost in a split second. People can even lose their lives in a split second.

It seems that I've been looking for a constant in the wrong places. When all is stripped away, all that's left is just wondering how stupid and naive you were.

In the end, I ended up ignoring the only thing that I always knew would be the constant. There was always a constant nagging of the back of my mind. But I always chose to ignore or avoid it. Probably because I felt guilty and unworthy. Blocked it out by going down the road of decadence. I hoped that it would numb my senses and it probably did. Secretly, I prayed for something because I knew that was the only way it would end and it miraculously happened. So You still heard me. I'm sorry I didn't pass the test and You had to intervene.

I feel relieved but hurt. Free but weighed down. Confused I guess.

I dunno if i can ever go back to the way things were before. It seems like the road further down decadence seems such easier. Even though i know full well that it isn't the best way to go.

Help me find my way back.. To You..

posted by just me @ 8:19 PM